Why only 1.6?

This is a rant. Pure and simple. My morning was interrupted and I am going to vent.

Today is the start of a three day weekend for me. Nothing special planned, just going to do some odds-n-ends. Maybe catch a movie or if I could get one or both of my brothers to call me, I might head up and visit them.

I get home, do my morning chores rest a bit and head off for a few hours of sleep before getting up to meet Cherri at the audiologist at 2:00.

I didn't plan on turning on the computer. I was going to catch up on some of the tv shows that I have recorded - the really boring stuff that I won't watch when Cherri is around. Then it happened... the intestinal pain. You know what I mean and don't act like you don't. I head up the stairs, stop by and snatch up my book of easy sudoku and head off to the little room next to the shower...

A bit of backgound here... For those who knew me before Cherri know that I grew up with outdoor plumbing. To me, a good flush was a scoop of lime that you threw down the hole when you got done. It was cold in the winter, hot in the summer and you always had to be mindful of spiders, wasps and the occasional snake. I didn't mind them too much as long as that tossed the requisite amount of lime when they got done. Live and let live and all of that rot. When I got married, I moved on up to the flush toilet like civilized folks. Ain't I somethin'!

The water flush jobs weren't too bad. It was a step up and you didn't have to worry about appendages being stung or bitten and a snake would only cause you to run screaming into the living room instead of the back yard. The backyard dash was always embarrassing because, well just because. Flushing was easy to get used to and it wasn't long before I wasn't reaching for the scoop of lime instead of flushing. Old habits die hard.

We all have some troubles with flushing at least occasionally or else there would be no plunger market. At least until a couple of years ago if you plugged up the toilet you had reason to be proud - a guy thing - and you made no quiet matter of getting out the plunger and getting after it. (And you know what IT is and don't pretend that you don't.)

Not anymore.

In 1995 there was a change in legislation that would eventually bring about the frustration and angst of this post. The bill H.R. 776 (National Energy Policy Act) was passed and part of it's mandate was the 1.6 gallon per flush toilet.
Designed to save water (the 'old' units were a blissful 3 gpf) the 1.6 gpf units were to be a panacea for environmentalist and tree-huggers nationwide.

And here we are. Or rather here I am. With my book of sudoku. With a happy feeling knowing that in just a few minutes I will be watching a really cool show about how the Great Lakes formed that will fill my head with all kinds of geeky stuff that doesn't mean diddly but that is fun to recite on cue. The Science Channel - you have got to love it, it's in the rules. Realizing that because of some communist-pinko-tree hugger that hates my SUV I am going to have to be mindful of my bodily actions and the response time of my 1.6 gallon sippy cup and therefore I wait. I wait for just the right time. Not too early... If I flush too early I am guaranteed a trip for the plunger.

Wait... wait for it... THERE! The timing is immaculate and there are no problems. Or are there?
No familiar glug glug glug. Nothing. I don't even have to look as I head off to the repository of the blessed plunger. Then I have to turn and look. I am a maintenance man and I have to know which tool I need. Can I get by with the sink plunger (light duty) or will I have to get the big, black toilet plunger (medium to heavy duty)? Turning back I am disheartened to know that the toilet plunger is going to have a rough go of it. No more details will be forthcoming about the event other than to say that the 1.6 gpf just cost me at least a half dozen flushes when one good 3 gallon flush would have done the trick.

10 gallons versus 3 gallons. I am not a rocket scientist but I can see that the new legislation is not saving me money, time or water. The tree-hugging moonbat liberals will look at this and see that I (and others like me) am abusing the right that they gave me to use only 1.6 gallon per flush and they will take that away from me.

We will move to government mandated outhouses before you know it.